Choices: An exercise to help you regain power

We’re talking about choices and the power of choice in our lives.

I want to walk you through the next part of this exercise. 

So, if you didn’t catch the first video in this series, I highly recommend that you go back and watch it now. Listen to the 3-minute snippet there, and come back with a list of the places in your life where you feel you have no choice.

Once you have your list, come back. That’s where we’re starting today.

Okay. What do you feel like you have no choice about?

Look at your list and choose one thing to use for this exercise.

It could be any number of things. Take care of my kids. Take my kids to school. Take my dog outside. Show up to work every day. Listen to my friends talk about their problems. Take care of my mom. Drive someone to the doctor’s office.

Pick one. That’s what we’re going to work on.

For instance, from my list, paying my rent is my example.

Identify three thoughts that you have about your issue.

When I think about paying my rent and the fact that I have no choice but to do that, the first three thoughts I have are

• No one else is going to do it

• If I don’t pay my rent, I’ll get kicked out of my apartment

• I don’t want to move, so I have no choice

Pause here and do that.

So, identify your thoughts about the area where you feel you have no choice. That’s step 1. Pause here and do that.

Okay, now that you can see: these are the thoughts I have about that, I want you to identify how you feel when you think those thoughts.

For me, a sense of pressure and obligation shows up. Like, it’s just me. I need to do it, and that’s all there is to it. 

How do you feel when you think about the area where you feel you have no choice?

Then, I want you to rank your feelings about it on a scale from 1 to 10—say 1 is this feels really crappy, and 10 is this feels really good. Give yourself a score on a scale of how it feels goodness-wise. 

For me, with paying the rent, that feeling is about a 4 for me in terms of how good it feels. I don’t love feeling obligated or under pressure; at the same time, it could feel worse. 

How would you score yourself in that area?

Okay, that’s the work we’re going to do today! If you feel so inclined, you could go back to your list, pick one or two other areas and do the same exercise. 

Next time, we’ll get specific about how to shake this up and get a sense of choice and power back in our lives.

I look forward to seeing you then!