Sexual Eight — “Possession”

Sexual Eights have a strong antisocial tendency. People with this subtype are provocative people who express lust through open rebellion- through declaring in word and deed that their values differ from the norm. Along with being the most rebellious of the Eight subtypes, the Sexual Eight is, interestingly, also the most emotional.

This outspoken, rebellious Eight likes to be seen as bad – or at least they don't mind it – and they tend not to feel any guilt over the rebellious things they do. It's almost a matter of pride for Sexual Eights to go against the stream of convention or to disrespect rules and laws.

In childhood, many of these Eights experienced disrespect and a lack of affection and attention from one or both parents, so they decided (consciously or unconsciously) not to recognize maternal or paternal authority. This first rebellion against authority became the template for their strong rebellious tendencies.

The name given to the Sexual Eight is “Possession,” which refers to a kind of charismatic taking over (or dominance) of the whole environment- an energetic capture of people's attention. These Eights display the idea of “Possession” in that they can take over a whole scene energetically, becoming the center of things. Sexual Eights like to feel their power by possessing everyone's attention. They express the idea that “the world begins to run when they arrive.”

Sexual Eights express a need for dominance and power over others. They don't want to lose control of anything or anyone, and they want to influence people with their words. Everything-- whether it is a person or a material thing- is an object to possess. These Eights don't seek material security; rather, they seek to get power over people, things, and situations.

In getting and maintaining this power, Sexual Eights can be fascinating and charismatic. Their power comes through a kind of seductiveness and intensity that differentiates them stylistically from the other two Eight subtypes. As Naranjo explains, these Eights have more colors in their feathers; they are more magnetic and more outspoken. They have great powers of seduction.

These Eights look voraciously for love, sex, and excess pleasure in life. They seek adventures, risks, challenges, and the thrill of an adrenaline rush. In line with their passionate forward movement into action, they may be particularly intolerant of weakness, dependence and slow people.

As the most emotional of the Eights, the sexual subtype displays a great deal of passion that may at time gets expressed through emotions that may seem surprising to others and atypical for the other Eights. In these very passionate, emotional Eights there's often a detachment of the intellect- while Sexual Eights may be very intelligent, they express action and passion more than contemplation in the things they do.

These Eights feel things deeply. This capacity can benefit a good relationship, but it can be a problem when a relationship isn't going well. In romantic settings, Sexual Eights may encourage their partners to become very dependent on them or to treat them as the energetic center of their lives. They demand loyalty, but may not be faithful in return. (England's King Henry VIII may serve as an example.) And they tend to have possessive relationships not only with lovers, but, also with friends, objects, places and situations.

This subtype can usually be readily recognized as Eights and is as not likely to be confused with others types. They may look like Sexual fours in that both types can be angry, emotionally and demanding but sexual eights distinguish themselves in their deeply confident (or overconfident) manner in contrast with the Sexual Four's' sense of inner deficiency.

Kathy, a Sexual Eight, speaks:

As a sexual eight, I like to have a small group of trusted and trusting people around me. When my circle becomes too large, I become uncomfortable and withdraw. I like to be all things to the people in my inner circle, and when that circle becomes unmanageable, it makes me a little “crazy”. Others can definitely feel it when I start to pull away. Those who are closest to me definitely notice when I am overcome by people who “need” too much.

On the other hand, I seem to “take care” of those around me. My sexual instinct can make this look like I am dominating or controlling the people around me. Although I am usually very conscious of my power over others, it is often difficult for others to resist the temptation to indulge me. I am absolutely charismatic and can convincingly bring others toward me without appearing to want adulation. People tend to think of me as a “guru,” and for the most part I lead and others follow without question. I have been told that my power is like a narcotic to others. And it happens without my having an awareness that it's happening.

My sexual instinct also makes me one of those rare people who can cross others' usual boundaries without making them uncomfortable. I genuinely care about others and that translates into others feeling protected and safe in my presence. Someone close to me made this observation and it resonates with me: “People in your presence fin themselves hanging onto your every word... looking to you for approval.. seeming submissive and overcome with awe. There is the sense that you are continually looking for an equal- someone who will provide that for you.”

I have been told that I exude sexuality. I am overtly sexual; I speak open and frankly about sex. Perhaps it is partly for shock value, but it is never meant to be offensive. It is an honest and beautiful part of me and it also communicates my vulnerability. I have been told that one cannot be in a room with me without feeling my sexual presence or life force. I think it is part of what makes me so appealing. The charisma is hard to resist.

Naranjo was correct about sexual eights. Our colors are more vivid. As a sexual eight, my colors shine brightly, except for those times when my energy is zapped by my need to be both protector and protected. I feel an intense passion and zest for life. My energy is bountiful and bold. My powers of seduction can be consuming. Because I need what I give, I am not afraid to be vulnerable. I believe it is precisely this trait that makes me a gifted leader and teacher.

Specific Work For The Sexual Eights on the Path from Vice to Virtue

Sexual Eights can travel the path from lust to innocence by reminding themselves that they are lovable and “good enough” as they are, and that they don't need to be provocative, superior, or extraordinary in order to be worthy of other people's devotion. It may help these Eights to explore the reasons behind their need to rebel and to possess everyone's attention. The sexual Eight's pattern of being powerful and charismatic often serves to cover over a hurt child who didn't get the love and attention he or she deserved. If you are a sexual eight, and you can allow yourself to own and reintegrate the lonely, needy child inside you, you can take the charge out of your defensive need to have control over what happens and to be the center of everything. You have so much to offer in terms of your strength and your passion and your emotional energy, but you can be even more portent and present in the things you do and the relationship you build when you can allow yourself to have an ongoing sense of the innocence and purity of your deeper feelings, needs, and intentions. This is the true heart and the powerful potential of innocence. When you can bring that spirit into the things you do and share more of your energetic space with others in conscious ways, you can be truly powerful.

Sourced with permission from The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut.

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