Sexual One — "Zeal" (Countertype)

While the Self-Preservation One is a perfectionist, and the Social One unconsciously takes on the pose of someone who is "perfect" in modeling the right way to be, Sexual Ones focus on perfecting others, This One is more of a reformer than a perfectionist. They have a need to improve others, but don't focus on being perfect themselves.

This is the only One subtype that is explicitly angry and so is the countertype of the three One personalities. The Sexual One is impatient, can be invasive, goes for what he or she wants, and has a sense of entitlement. These Ones have an intensity of desire fueled by anger that motivates them to want to improve others. This can be expressed as a sense of excitement, passion, or idealism about the way things could be if people would reform their behavior, or if the reforms they envision were enacted by society. This makes them compelling and vehement.

This character feels entitled in the sense of possessing the mentality of a reformer or a zealot-one who knows how to live or do things better and so feels a right to assert their will over others. Like the mentality of a conqueror, this approach can be rationalized (and made virtuous through the rhetoric of their adherence to a higher moral code or calling.

According to Naranjo, Ichazo gave this subtype the name, "Zeal," meaning "a special intensity of desire." Zeal suggests an intensity or excitement that fuels the desire to connect with others. It also means doing things with care, dedication, and fervor.

This One's anger infuses his desire with a special intensity or urgency and the person has the sense that "I have to have it," or "I have a right to it," or “I have to improve it (society or another person) to make it the way I know it should be."

In a collective sense, this can be seen in the idea of "manifest destiny," the ideology that justified the takeover of the western part of the United States from the Native Americans in the 1800s. Despite what our retrospective view of that period might be, this philosophy was a justification for the white man taking over land populated by "savages." Another example of this ideology can be seen in the minds of conquerors, as when the Spanish conquered South America. The rhetoric displayed there was, "I can take this because I'm noble and civilized."

In the Sexual One, this intensity of desire can support the impulse to reform or perfect specific others or to make the world a better place in the way this One believes it should be. Sometimes, this desire to perfect others grows out of a genuine belief in an enlightened vision of reform or idealism. However, it may at the same time be fueled by this instinctual subtype's need to make others more perfect. One woman I know with this subtype reported that she felt she would be justified in leaving her husband if he did not carry out her suggestions for his improvement. And she felt a need to help him become a better person so she could have a better partner.

In Western culture, there can be an anti-sexual or anti-instinctual sentiment-the idea that it's not okay to act on one's desires. For instance, the sinfulness of sex is so pervasive that it can be hard sometimes not to feel improper or naughty if we allow ourselves to freely express our sexual desires. But the Sexual One has a different, more liberated, attitude with regard to sexual desire. There’s a kind of "go for it" mentality that can then necessitate the finding of good reasons to support the rightness of whatever the Sexual One wants to do. Unlike the Self-Preservation Ones, these Ones don't question themselves as much. Instead, they are concerned more with making others into the people they think they should be.

These Ones are avengers; they are not afraid of confrontations. They may be containing a murderous rage that they cannot see. Their anger can be like a volcano that erupts. They perceive themselves as strong. They have great strength and determination and can be very brave. They are also impulsive and do things quickly.

Sexual Ones have two sides: a more playful side oriented toward pleasure and an aggressive, angry side. Pain is the emotion they repress the most and the one they find most difficult to show. They may act out their unacknowledged pain by leading a double life as a way of breaking the rules. Some Sexual Ones display "trap-door" behavior, discharging their anger and pain through "bad" acts. An example of this is Eliot Spitzer. As the Attorney General of the State of New York, he crusaded against lawbreakers, going after Wall Street criminals and prostitutes in an effort to reform society. However, he later resigned as the Governor when he was caught having an ongoing relationship with a prostitute himself.

In light of this type of behavior, this One can look like a type Eight. Like Eights they can be energetic, assertive, and strong. These Ones believe they have a right to impose their vision and get what they need, in the same way, an Eight might overpower or dominate a situation to impose their own will. But Eights and Ones differ in that Ones are "over-social" and Eights are "under-social."

Sexual Ones bring intensity and energy to relationships. They can be forceful and insistent. They may attempt to reform their partners and friends, conveying the sense of being on a mission or drawing on a higher calling or authority in the things they do. They excel at pointing out what others might need to do to reform their behavior or meet specific standards, but focus less interest and attention on reforming their own behavior, seeing what they do as right.

Sally, a Sexual One, speaks:

I have a strong need for order in my relationships. This order is determined by my moral code of conduct, which holds my internal world together. When this is disrupted (which is quite often) I can be edgy, critical, demanding, and insensitive. I have often been unaware of how I wanted to (and tried to) fix or improve others. It just seems so right to bring order through clear communication and the sharing of insights.

I can be very jealous when others seem to enjoy closer connections than I do. And I am more than alert to my partner's placement of attention, especially on another woman! My intensity often surprises me! And I see now how challenging it can be for those around me.

Specific Work For The Sexual One on the Path from Vice to Virtue

Sexual Ones can travel the path from anger to serenity through being clearer about the deeper motives behind the desire to perfect others. You are worthy not because you help us learn how to reform and improve ourselves, but because you deeply value the higher goal of creating a better world. Explore your impulses and feelings to the point where you gain a thorough understanding of the sources of your zeal. Put your idealism and energy behind the task of knowing yourself first, before you try to offer the gift of your love of the right way to others. Your self-knowledge and humility will only deepen and purify what your want to share with those around you. Your high ideals and the energy you put behind their realization can truly change the world for the better, but only after you make the unconscious fuel behind your passion more conscious.

Sourced with permission from The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut.

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