Call to Trust Part 4

I hope you’ve been living the question: 

What if I didn't make myself wrong?

What if I didn’t judge myself?

What if I had more curiosity and compassion for this human experience?

Then what?

For me, this year, these questions have made all the difference. They’ve allowed me to drop my defenses and coping strategies. To soften.

When a situation comes into our life that shakes us up, we get a chance to see our defaults activate. If we can watch ourselves with curiosity and openness, that gives us a real opportunity to grow in ways that we wouldn't have been able to otherwise.

That's been the truth for me this year. Through this process, I’ve dropped my need to know how it’s going to go. I've faced the feeling I get when fear hits. It wants to control things and force outcomes and insert my agenda onto life in a way that feels safe and guaranteed.

I realize that life isn't safe or guaranteed. When I drop my defenses, I just have to be present with the underlying fear that's there.

Fear that things won't turn out the way I want them to. Fear that maybe I won't have what I need or want. I'll lose something that's important to me. My heart will break over and over.

When I sat with that fear without running from it, something entirely new started to emerge for me. A deep sense of trust in life itself and a newfound willingness to surrender to something bigger.

See, I believe there's a life that wants to live through me. that I’m co-creating with something bigger than myself. That there's a universal force—a life force, Spirit, God, whatever you want to call it—that is dancing with me and wanting to come through me.

I’ve long had a desire to trust that. In so many ways in my life, I have. I’ve taken leaps of faith because I was clear that Spirit was guiding me to do so.

This has been a next-level surrender. And very humbling, to be honest. There's not so much that I can control. As much as I want to think I'm driving this, I’m not always driving this. I’m in a definite co-creation, and humility is required.

When I dropped my defenses and I surrendered, something new became possible. For me, that looked like asking for help. I’ve been a self-reliant person for a long time, and I find it challenging to ask people for support in a vulnerable way. 

This year has required that I do just that. I have an amazing group of friends around me who've saved me this year. Because I've had a willingness to drop my guard and ask for support, support has shown up in the most beautiful of ways.

It’s a major shift from trying to control and force my way to waving a white flag and saying okay life, I'm listening. Help me, show me, teach me, guide me. I’m open to that.

So, when you drop your defenses and coping strategies, what wants to emerge for you?

If it doesn’t feel clear to you, and you would like some support in getting to the bottom of it, let's have a conversation. Sometimes it's hard to see the pattern that's blocking us. We can benefit from a little support. If that’s the case for you, then reach out.

That's what I want to leave you with today:

When your strategies fall away, what wants to emerge? 

And how can you step into that energy in a powerful way?