How to Cultivate Bravery

You’ve heard me say that bravery is something you can cultivate. That’s what I want to talk about today.

So, if you want to be more brave in your life, work, relationships, and how you show up in the world, that’s a muscle you can build. First and foremost, make a choice. Choose to be brave.

I remember the first time I heard Brene Brown’s talk on vulnerability. (She had a viral TED talk that I heard 9 or 10 years ago.) She was talking about vulnerability and courage. And she said that the definition of courage is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.

I remember then, something resonating with me, like “Yes! I want to be the kind of person who tells the story of who I am with my whole heart!” Something inside me made a choice, and it takes that. 

Ask yourself: Do I want to be brave with my life?

Just making an intentional and conscious choice is step one. Beyond that, cultivating courage and bravery happens when you look at the costs associated with not being brave.

There’s a simple exercise you can do. Take a blank piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle. One one side, write “cost” and on the other side, benefit. You can begin to evaluate and tell the truth about this.

Ask yourself: What does it cost me in my life that I don’t take brave action? Does it cost me intimacy or self-expression? Maybe people don’t really know who I am, or I have doubts about myself or stay stuck in the same place.

What’s the cost for you, that you play scared? What’s the benefit or payoff? What do you get out of it?

If I’m not brave, at least I’m safe. Things are predictable. I have a sense of control (even if it’s an Illusion). There’s some payoff or benefit that I get. 

Take some time to evaluate the costs and the benefits of not being brave. When you become aware of that, it makes it easier to choose. Next, you want to take action.

I’ve got a commitment to be brave. I know the cost if I don’t. I know the payoff if I stay in this spot. I evaluate… and I’m not willing to pay this price to stay in this place.

Identify an action you can take—and take it.

Again, this can be really simple. Like making a phone call to say thank you or I’m sorry. Submitting a resume. Asking for a raise. Saying something vulnerable to your partner. Dropping self-doubt and internal judgment about yourself and just letting yourself be OK. 

Brave might be speaking up and speaking out. Expressing a controversial opinion. It might be asking for feedback. It can be any number of things. Identify that one thing that for you that would feel really brave and then do it. Even though it’s scary! Even if something inside you is asking “Can I do this?” Yes! Do it.

Just like that, baby step by baby step, you create a wonderfully brave life.

I’ve got some ideas for you about how you can do this—suggestions and things you can play with. It’s not too late if you want to join us for the Be Brave Challenge, 5 days of tiny little brave micro-moves that can really transform your life.

I hope you’ll join us! Just click on the button below. I’ll send you an email every day to encourage and prod you along, and I’ll be right there walking beside you every step of the way!