A Personal Story of Bravery
I want to share with you how I’m being called to be more brave in my life lately.
Like many other white people in the US, I’ve taken more committed action recently to actively engage in the work of anti-racism. I’m doing a lot of reading, watching and listening—participating in a way that I never have before.
For a long time, I thought of myself as someone who was not racist because I didn’t say or think racist things. I thought I was doing my part because I do transformational work that is all about responsibility and love.
Recently I learned that by not speaking up or not actively engaging in anti-racism work, I wasn’t actually doing my part. I was part of the problem. I was one of those people who enjoys the privileges of being a white person and never really takes a stand for equality and representation of black/indigenous/people of color. I was not helping dismantle the old system so that the people around me can enjoy the same freedoms I do.
I’ve been learning a lot about this issue. That, in and of itself, feels brave in a lot of ways. I’m in new spaces and out of my league. I’m opening my mind to new ideas and feeling vulnerable.
Recently, someone within my family group thread posted a derogatory, racist joke. I know this person, obviously; they’re in my family. I know that they’re a good person, and I was really inclined to do what I’ve done before. Roll my eyes, make an excuse and ignore it, basically.
I felt compelled to do something different this time. I felt that just ignoring it didn’t honor the new information that I had. I know that to just skip over it and say nothing makes me part of the problem. I can’t pretend that I don’t know that. But, it still felt really uncomfortable to say something. These are people I love and hold dear. There’s a potential that they’ll be offended or upset with me or that it would cause distance or strife between us.
I grappled with it for a few days but I did eventually reply. I said: I don’t like this joke, and it’s not okay. I trust that you hear what I’m saying with love, and if you’re open to it, I would love to have a conversation with you about the things that I’m learning.
Bravery is acknowledging the risk involved and then taking the action anyway because it’s aligned with your values and who you want to be in the world.
So, where’s a situation in your life where you could bring 10% more bravery?
Maybe it’s communicating with your partner about your preferences or needs and showing up in a more vulnerable way in your relationship. Maybe being brave is asking for what you need or even acknowledging that you have a need. Maybe it’s raising your rates or asking for a raise. Maybe being brave is wearing a different style of clothing that you’ve always wanted to try.
Bravery can show up in many ways, but it will always involve inherent risk and taking action anyway.
What I know to be true is that bravery always pays off. Even if it doesn’t go the way you think it will, there’s something about showing up to honor yourself in the process that leaves you feeling more whole and satisfied than hiding out ever could.
Where in your life could you be 10% braver?
What if you were to try out little moves of bravery -- How might it make a difference in your life?
Keep the inquiry going, and I’ll see you again next week!